‘Chapter 04: Happiness Starts With Your Beliefs’

People who are happy have optimistic beliefs that empower themselves and others. Optimists usually have a belief that the past does not equal the future, which allows them to keep persisting at an important goal even when they have failed in the past. A major turning point in our thinking comes when we change our language from whether we will achieve something, to how and when we will achieve it. Some people form a belief that they can never succeed, but successful people believe they only fail if they learn nothing from the experience.

Successful people tend to place fewer limits on their abilities. They believe that if they are going to make an error about what they can and can’t do, it is better to overestimate
than to fail to achieve their potential. Optimistic people believe that they are in control of their lives. Rather than blaming other people when something goes wrong, an optimist will accept their part in the situation and resolve to learn something from the experience. They are more likely to attribute good results to their personal performance, and bad results to the situation. They also attribute other people’s poor results to situational factors, which means they are less likely to get angry with others or hold grudges.

The level to which we exaggerate our limiting beliefs will have a strong effect on our behaviour. A negative person will extend a belief in one area to their entire life, whereas a happy person will minimise the severity of the belief. Rather than feeling like a ‘complete failure’, an optimistic person may resolve to do better in that area of their life next time. Happy people believe a bad event will pass and that it is a one-off event, whereas unhappy people see their problems as permanent.

My close friend Lucy decided to open a floristry shop. She found a suitable business that was selling at the time and invested her life savings into purchasing it. Two weeks before the business was due to settle, the owner of the shop backed out and changed her mind. Lucy immediately went to her lawyer, but did not have enough money left to take the shop owner to court. She lost her entire savings.

Although devastated, and with no money left in the bank, Lucy had a belief that her problems would pass and that she would still open her shop. Within a few months, a lease became available down the road from the original shop. Lucy quickly snapped up the premises and started a shop from scratch on a shoestring budget. Now, one year later, her shop is a huge success and is close to putting the other shop out of business.