‘Chapter 06: How to Change Your Beliefs’

If you have a number of beliefs that are limiting your quality of life, it is time to change them. If you change your beliefs in any area of your life, you begin immediately to improve your life in that area. By choosing empowering beliefs, you will live a longer, happier, more successful life.

Once you have a list of beliefs that you would like to either change or strengthen, you can go on to apply one of the following techniques. You will find these strategies more successful if you focus on only a few beliefs at a time and repeatedly work on those beliefs, rather than trying to change all of your beliefs at once.

Affirmations are positive, simple, present tense statements that we can use to replace negative internal chatter with empowering positive thoughts. They allow us to retrain our minds to think in the way we choose, and in doing so they transform our beliefs and attitudes.

Affirmations are based on three ‘P’s’. They are positive, present tense and personal. These rules should be adhered to for the affirmations to work effectively. Firstly, affirmations must be positive – i.e. phrased in terms of what we do want rather than what we do not want. Our brains are unable to process phrases like ‘do not’ until after they have processed the other parts of the sentence. For example, do not imagine a bright red sports car. Whatever you do, do not think of that car! If you only choose affirmations that you want for yourself rather than thinking about what you don’t want, you will be training your mind to activate those areas in the future.

Make your affirmations personal by referring them back to yourself. A good way to do this is to start the sentence with ‘I am’ or ‘I choose’. The remainder of the affirmation should be simple so that it doesn’t clutter the mind with too much information at once. Only the bare essentials of your new belief are required.

Affirmations must always be stated in the present tense, even if you are not sure if you agree with the statement yet. If you affirm that something will happen in the future, you are simply reinforcing that you don’t believe it is happening now.

For evidence that affirmations work, think back to primary school when you were learning your multiplication tables. Chances are, your times tables were imprinted into your consciousness (can you quickly compute three times seven? five times nine?) because they were repeated, written out and practised until perfect. Now they are permanently stored in your mind and are automatically triggered whenever required. You don’t need to practise your multiplication tables again or refresh yourself to remember them. The same process is used when changing your beliefs.

Some examples of affirmations include:

• My life is filled with peace and love.
• Every day, in every way, I am becoming better.
• I have a successful and profitable business.
• I am loving and I am loved.
• I am a well-organised and efficient person.
• I am healthy, happy and beautiful.

How to make your affirmations work for you
To create your own affirmation, first decide which belief you want to change and phrase it in affirmation style.

1. Concentrate on your statement. Repeat it either mentally or out loud and whenever other thoughts or images creep into your consciousness, quickly bring your focus back to your statement. Give it your total attention and really feel the message. Try to generate as much emotion as you can, as emotion will help your future recall. If we say our affirmations out loud with conviction and enthusiasm, or if we share them with others, we receive an even greater benefit than if we just recite them mentally. Our minds always try to keep our actions in line with what we say.
2. Keep repeating the message over and over, allowing your mind to absorb it and really believe it. Try to hold your focus for as long as possible, depending on how much time you have available.
3. Spending five to ten minutes repeating your affirmation each day, or a few minutes at different times throughout the day, will soon make an impression on your mind and retrain yourself to think that way automatically.

I used to be a little sceptical about affirmations, but I decided to give them a go. After coming back from holiday a little heavier than when I set out, I affirmed ‘I am healthy, happy and beautiful’ and visualised myself as a healthier and happier person for five minutes at a time, six or seven times a day. I continued this affirmation for one week.

The effect was immediate. My usually sweet tooth vanished and I had no interest in unhealthy food. I was so cheery that week that I couldn’t have kept the smile off my face if I tried. Plus, I ended up spending more time than usual caring for my skin, hair and nails. By the end of the week I looked and felt a million dollars!

One of the most powerful affirmations you can say is ‘I like myself’. Stand in the mirror each morning, look directly at yourself and smile. Say ‘I like myself’ a number of times until the words penetrate and you feel confident and happy. This exercise will allow you to build self-esteem and improve your overall self-concept. The sillier you feel, the more it means you need to practise the affirmation.

Sometimes we let bad habits drag on for too long because we haven’t got a strong enough drive to change them. A conviction is such a strong belief that it compels you to take action. It is beneficial to develop convictions from beliefs that really support you, because then you will be driven to make any necessary changes in your life.

How to turn a negative belief into an empowering conviction:

1. Pick a negative belief that you are committed to changing. Write down the opposite so that you now have a positive belief. For example, if you have a belief that smoking is attractive, you may want to write down that being healthy is attractive.
2. Look for evidence supporting your new belief. Do some research – read books and magazines, talk to people, look at pictures and visualise yourself living differently. The more evidence you can find to support the new belief, and the stronger the associated emotions, the stronger the conviction will be. This will do two things: first, give you the motivation you need to make the change; and secondly, replace some of the false evidence that you have built up around you in holding on to your old belief.
3. In order to turn a supportive belief into a conviction you have to do more than just gather evidence. Once you feel confident about your new belief, seek out and put yourself in an emotionally charged situation. The situation should represent what your future could become if you do not change. To continue the smoking example, you could visit a hospital ward for lung cancer patients. Alternatively, if you have beliefs that affect you financially you may consider volunteering at an organisation that provides food and shelter for the homeless. Try to experience what life might be like for you if you don’t make the change in your life.
4. To maintain and strengthen the new conviction you must adjust your daily behaviour to reflect that you are completely certain about this belief.

Goal directed thinking is a method of disputing unwanted beliefs by focusing on what you do want.

Briefly consider what you really want in your life. If you already have some goals written down, you might want to read them over.
Ask yourself: ‘Does believing … help me to …?’

For example:

• Does believing our marriage can’t be fixed help us to be happy together?
• Does believing it is bad to make mistakes help me to succeed in my business?
• Does believing that I am bad at managing my money help me save for an overseas holiday?

One of the fastest ways to disempower ourselves is to accept other people’s negative comments. Every time we hear the word ‘you’ attached to a message it is processed by our minds.

Because other people’s opinions may be subconsciously accepted as a credible source of information about us, negative ‘you’ phrases can create trouble. For this reason, we must find ways to protect ourselves from their words.

If people do start to tell you who they think you are, do not become defensive and argue with them – either ignore their comments, or if it happens frequently, approach them about it and ask them to stop. In some instances you may have to stop associating with them entirely, as some people cannot stop pouring their negativity onto others.

If you have a bad habit that you want to change and other people are making comments about it, request that they praise you when you do the right thing instead. You need support to change your bad habits, not criticism. No-one helps you to move forward by continually pointing out the things you do wrong.