Turn memories into comedy
Do you have any music that you know will make you feel sad as soon as you play it? Imagine if you took that music and played it in such a way that it sounded different, maybe you played it at twice the speed, or you scratched it so that it repeated the same line over and over again. Would you still feel sad? Your habitual ways of playing mental tunes work in the same way as that music. Certain memories and thoughts always invoke negative feelings because you perceived the original event as being bad. If you can play the memories differently, your perception of them will be changed and you can save yourself all the misery.
How to use this technique:
- First, practise with a memory that is only mildly unsettling so that you do not get swamped by the associated emotions. Play the memory through from beginning to end.
- Next, play the memory through again, but with a difference. You might want to speed it up, view it through an external perspective (i.e. you are in the picture, rather than experiencing it), play it backwards, put a frame around it or turn it into still shots rather than a movie. You might want to make it smaller, darker, more like a cartoon, or change the sound effects. Try giving people silly voices or dressing them up in costumes. Apply the changes one at a time to your memory as you repeatedly play it.
- If you play the memory over and over, adding to the changes with each replay, you will soon find your memory comical rather than upsetting. The more times you replay the new improved memory, the better your chance of remembering it and laughing every time it comes back. Every time your mind tries to show you a rerun about that situation in the past, you will immediately replay the new version.
You can use this technique for any thoughts or memories that you have perceived negatively. It does not matter how recently the event occurred or how strong the associated emotions are. Times when you feel hurt or rejected by others are great times to practise creating mental comedies. I have effectively used this strategy to bring myself back to emotions of amusement and happiness even after being harshly criticised. The hardest part is actually remembering to use the technique; once you start reframing the experience it is quite easy to laugh!